Running the risk of sounding very narcasistic I'm going to post this.
I was just clicking through photos from the last 2 years. A photo of my best friend and me flashed on the screen, and I suddenly had a deep love for myself. I have these moments frequently for the people that are in my life, those who give me the honor of allowing me to love them. However, this is the first time that I've ever felt it for myself.
Seeing the picture of me and my best friend, I suddenly saw myself through her eyes. I'm not going to go into too much detail...because that would make me feel weird...listing all of the things that I have just realized are so awesome about me.
Let's just say that I am in complete awe of what God has done with this broken piece of a person that used to be me. I have reasons, as many of us do, to sit around feeling sorry for myself; lost loves, broken relationships, snuffed out dreams. But what would the use of that be? God has MADE me. HE wants me here and HE has a plan for my life. I am allowed to think that I'm amazing because that in turn gives praise to the God that I love.
What would happen if we all lived our lives with the confidence that we are meant to be here? Let's become bold with ourselves and our personalities. It's a real shame to see people sitting behind a mask that they have made. If we take off our masks and allow ourselves and God a real look at what's underneath we will change for the better (if we let Him have His way when He speaks to us).
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Adventure
My heart always lifts during takeoff. There’s something about flying over the earth that makes me feel at home. Maybe it’s something about the fact that it’s always sunny up here. More likely, it’s because most of my favorite memories have started with a ride on a plane. I am currently surrounded by IT folk who are going to the video game convention in Boston…it kind of smells like a boy’s locker room in here. I’m not sure if the two are linked… I’m just sayin’.
I love the adventure that is at the other side of a flight. Wherever I touch down, I know that I’m going to experience something that I never have before. The question is: Why don’t I expect that of everyday life at home? Each day is brand new! Each day is like a new country, a new city, a new reality. I will meet new people and go to new places every day of my life, whether it be in Seattle or across the globe. Wouldn’t it be great to feel the excitement of a trip every morning? The possibilities are endless.
Perhaps the reason why I have great adventures and meet extremely interesting people while I’m traveling is because I have more patience, interest and excitement than in my everyday life. I live on Capitol Hill …for goodness freaking sakes. If I can’t find interesting people and adventure where I’m at then there is no hope for me!
On an average day I wake up, take Sophie out just long enough for her to stop jumping around and ‘pee already!’. Then I get in my car, trod to my desk in the office (sometimes I go to the communal fridge first to drop off my lunch). I turn on my screen and settle in for the day, allowing my abs and back to relax into an unpleasant slouch that has proven rough on my lower back and hips over the last 3 years of this tired routine. Depending on who is in the office, and my mood, I may say hello to people as my computer warms up, or I may not. For the following 9-10 hours I slouch at my desk, getting lower and lower in my chair as the day goes on. If it’s an exciting day I may laugh a lot…or perhaps get in a fight with the Accounts Payable department, which seems to be my favorite self caused drama lately.
BUT – what if my day went a little ‘som’fin’ like this:
I wake up with no alarm set with a promising feeling in my soul. I say ‘hello’ to the one that created me when I wake.* After taking my lovely puppy for a wonderfully long walk, allowing her and myself smell the roses, and playing with her in an involved tug session I leave for work. Upon walking to the bus station I notice that it is beginning to rain and I notice the smell of the rain, one of the reasons why I love living in Seattle.
On the bus I listen to my iTouch quietly and eavesdrop on the silly conversation of those around me who are also heading to work. Soon they will all be expected to be extremely professional and adult, but there aren’t such rules on the bus. After walking the 10 minutes from the bustop to work I greet the secretary at the front desk with a smile before I head to the elevator. Once I’m upstairs I head straight to the kitchen where I put my wonderfully delicious homemade meal in the fridge for later consumption.
When walking to my desk I stop to say hello to people and I actually listen when they reply to my, ‘good morning, how be you?’ Once I reach my desk I light my soothing candle and make a design in my miniature zen sand garden.** I sit up straight with my abs engaged...looking quite elegant if I do say so myself. During the day when someone comes to my desk I put them first instead of the email that sits in front of me. I finish my work while it's still light out and head to the bus.
I get back on the bus to head home and fall in love with a man. We go live happily ever after...having tons of children. We live our lives out in a house in the country with a pottery studio looking out to a lake. Our family takes extended vacations all the time to awesome places with great adventure...like Capitol Hill in downtown Seattle :-D
*I almost wrote ‘I say ‘hello’ to the one I created when I wake’….ummm…perhaps there will be a blog entry in the future about that unfortunate Freudian slip!
**LOL – just joking…I just thought that would be funny. (no offense if you have those things at your desk at work, I WISH I was that cool…)
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Se la vi
I found out earlier this week that the second of the three schools that I applied to for grad school denied me....bummer. There's only one option left, and the fact that I haven't heard any feedback from them makes me really worried that I'm not high on their list of possible students for next year.
The very strange thing about this situation is that I'm not overly anxious about being declined. It was a blow to my ego but I have a real feeling of peace. My life so far has worked out when I trust God with the outcome and I don't know why I would change that now. He has always been faithful to me and I'm excited to discover the next adventure that He has for me.
The very strange thing about this situation is that I'm not overly anxious about being declined. It was a blow to my ego but I have a real feeling of peace. My life so far has worked out when I trust God with the outcome and I don't know why I would change that now. He has always been faithful to me and I'm excited to discover the next adventure that He has for me.
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